The Curse of the Resting Bitch Face: A memoir.

Once upon a time, there was a girl of about 15, in a town of about 50.

Just kidding.

I actually grew up 40 miles outside of Manhattan, so…

But today I’m not sharing my life story with you. Instead, I’m sharing the facts of this deep, dark, disease that I have; affectionately referred to as “resting bitch face.”

This is a selfie that I took five minutes ago. It’s my normal resting face and it looks like a mugshot.

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I’m writing this for everyone who’s ever told me to “just smile” or asked me so many times if I was ok that I started to feel not ok.

I’m writing this for the creepy construction workers (who will never read this) who have said things like, “smile, pretty girl,” as I walked by.

I’m writing this for all the people who thought I hated them.

I’m not a bitch (usually). I just have resting bitch face.

I’m not in a bad mood (most of the time). I just have resting bitch face.

I don’t hate you (probably…). I just have resting bitch face.

Turns out, there have been a crap ton (I figure I can say the word crap since I’ve already used bitch several times, no?) of studies done on this epidemic.

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According to CNN, people with resting bitch face, or RBF, actually have more emotion than those without it. I guess that makes sense…those infected have so much emotion that they can’t figure out what face to make, so it comes out like this? I feel ya, Anna Kendrick.

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I don’t love that definition, either, because that makes me sound like a complete drama queen, and it still doesn’t answer the bleeding question, “Why do I have resting bitch face even when I’m in the BEST mood?”

It happens. I could be at a party smiling and laughing then turn around to get a drink and someone asks me if I’m ok. SORRY I DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS WHILE POURING MYSELF A COCKTAIL.

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I suppose I can understand why it’s hard for people to believe that this whole RBF thing isn’t just an excuse for sad people. I suppose.

But I’m fine, really. I’ve been depression-free for a solid year now (real thing). Read about my depression here.

#SpreadAwareness #RBFisreal

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