Holding Back

I haven’t posted a blog in over two months, and here’s why:

1. Everyone and their dog has started a blog recently.

2. I don’t want to appear as though I write for the wrong reasons.

3. I’ve just been really stressed, okay?!?!?

But in truth, revealing my innermost thoughts to the world in this way is an incredible experience. Those who know me know that I don’t talk much. At least not to strangers. If you stick around long enough, I won’t stop saying stupid things around you. Even my blogs reveal that I am shy and introverted. As contradictory as it may seem, the internet/blogosphere is a place where I don’t hold back. I welcome the opportunity to share my world with complete strangers, but won’t talk to people from my classes as I pass by them on the sidewalk.

Why?

I don’t really know. It’s just easier this way. I have super high social anxiety, so when I don’t say hi to you on campus, it’s not because I hate you. I just psych myself out of talking to people all the time. So this is a way for me to express myself without having to give myself panic attacks.

I have my close friends. They know who they are – the ones who support me and have actually stuck by me no matter what. I talk to them every day, even when one of us royally screws up. So blogging is how I communicate to people besides them.

And I love it.

So I’m going to keep blogging about things that matter to me and things that I want to share with the world.

If you don’t like it, don’t read them. Or unfriend me on Facebook, because odds are you’re reading this because I shared it there.

I’m just doing me.

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